A new life is beginning to shape for me as I settle into the city and make friends. The African Union headquarters are in Addis Ababa as well as hundreds of international embassies, government offices and nonprofit organizations such as UNICEF, USAID, Save the Children, the Red Cross and Clinton Foundation. I heard that there are an estimated 50,000 foreign workers in Addis making it a much more sociable place to meet an eclectic group of friends compared to Dnepropetrovsk. I imagine Kiev would have been similar but my small town in eastern Ukraine was rather homogeneous and closed to outsiders, perhaps a remnant of the Soviet-era.
In Ethiopia, white foreigners are despairingly, yet harmlessly, referred to as “farenges,” pronounced fah-ren-geez. Walking down the street or even passing by in a car someone inevitably yells, “look farenges!” and everyone turns around to stare. Less often, though not uncommon, is the “f-ck you, farenges.” I haven’t quite figured this one out. It’s usually followed by the foul-mouth assailant approaching you to ask where you’re from or offer a marriage proposal or discounted shoeshine. It’s a head-scratcher. I tell them, in the United States this is the wrong foot to get off on when trying to make new friends; its just not good customer service!
My closest Ethiopian friend is in Ghana for several weeks accompanying a group of Mother Teresa clinic spine patients awaiting surgery. Luckily, I met a great group of foreign friends and we are exploring the nightlife (live jazz bars to theatre) in Addis together. One is law professor at Addis Ababa University, another an English teacher, a missionary, one working for a major United States foundation and nine medical students from San Antonio of whom I’ve become especially fond. We spent a day together earlier this week sightseeing, shopping and hiking through the mountains at Entoto National Park. I am now a certified hypochondriac; fortunately they’re stocked with plenty of hand sanitizers and drugs.
The one thing many of my new friends have in common is that they are devout Christians. They attend church every Sunday and share a loosely defined set of conservative principles that are relatively unknown to me at home. For instance, one friend generally avoids R-rated movies largely due to what she describes as gratuitous violence. This was the topic of conversation last night at dinner. At first, I sat through the discussion without a peep not believing she was serious. Having lived in Los Angeles and with a brother-in-law who is a filmmaker, it didn’t occur to me that people might feel this way, at least not anymore. I was quickly amazed at her passion for the issue and her solid arguments (although of course, I disagreed).
Having lived in New York City for nearly seven years now, I guess my southern roots have all but been abandoned for more liberal Jewish thinking, sometimes making me feel like the odd-man out; I didn’t expect that here. Many of my friends have worked in Ethiopia for years. Their commitment, intellect and compassion are powerful and I believe there is a lot we can learn from each other. Besides being farenges, and whether we are Christians or Jews, in our hearts we are here for the same reasons and that makes us more the same than different. Strangers really do make the best friends.
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2 comments:
Dear Joy,
After reading your entry I have to rethink my definition of stranger.
In the play Fiddler on the Roof one of the last lines before they leave is "soon I'll be a stranger in a strange new place, looking for an old familiar face." I guess familiar doesn't necessarily mean you have to have known someone previously. Shared experiences count too. It sounds as if you've found your familiar faces and, they are lucky to have found you.
Love, Auntie Dana
PS: ask your mom about teaching english words to non english speakers.
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